Mom-Wife Thoughts in a Day

Behind the Boutique Kristina Nissen Mom-Wife Thoughts

I always think it’s great when mothers open up about the thoughts they have on motherhood and wifery (I don’t even know if that’s a word, but it sounds like “wizardry”, so I love it). We all sort of go about our day with the most intimate and comical thoughts swirling about in our heads, but they tend to stay in there. So the other day, I decided to record my thoughts on my phone. Honestly, I don’t know where I stand on the spectrum of “normal” mom-wife thoughts (something tells me I may be a few too many standard deviations away from the mean), and I’m totally okay with that! All I wanted to do was open up about what goes on in this brain, in the event it resonates with anyone else out there (Bueller?). So without further ado, enjoy my disaster head. I hope if nothing else, you’ll get a few laughs. All my love 🙂

  1. Should I wake up everyone in this house at once? Or should I just tend to my coffee and watch their futures melt away one by one?
  2. Awe… I just LOVE how happy they are in the mornings. Can it be morning time forever?
  3. Why does it take me so f—ing long to make my bed?! Why do I care this much?!
  4. No!! They can’t have frozen waffles EVERY DAY!!!
  5. I just love when he has fuzzy hair. We’d have like 10 more kids if he kept his hair fuzzy.
  6. Wait, why am I here? Why did I come upstairs?
  7. I hope she always sees herself the way that I see her. She’s just everything. Does my Mom still look at me like this?
  8. He’s going to want that juice, in that cup, with that lid, and that straw. Is he just being picky? Or in his world, is this analogous to me wanting a fork and knife with my steak rather than a spoon?
  9. Sigh, why did I know the answer to that? Why do I know where EVERYTHING of his is in this house?!
  10. Why doesn’t anyone know where my things are?!
  11. I can’t imagine a single family from Ellie’s school running their morning like this…
  12. Oh thank god for makeup. Thank GOD for makeup.
  13. Is this kid TRYING to get himself killed?!
  14. Wait, did I even brush my teeth today?
  15. I feel like we should be doing something way more stimulating than this…
  16. Nooooo, please do not touch!! This kid is purposely trying to destroy my Lincoln Log masterpiece 🙁
  17. O-M-G!!! It’s only been 10 MINUTES!
  18. Remember your pre-parent thoughts about staying home with kids? Those were freaking hilarious, weren’t they?!
  19. Awe, they just said thank you for making them lunch… oh my BABIES!!
  20. Can my kids live on apple juice and love? Why don’t they ever eat?
  21. Someone get this kid a new mom.
  22. Halftime!! Is it normal to love nap time this much?! Okay… Emails? Quickbooks? Laundry? Brush my teeth? Maybe I should just take a few minutes to re-energize before hell breaks loose again.
  23. Ugh. This is such a shit job that only the default parent even knows exists.
  24. Awe, look at them sleep. God, I love my life. Thank you for all that you’ve given.
  25. How can something so stinky come out of such a sweet little girl?
  26. I wonder how many kisses I give him a day. Like, a rolling average the last seven days.
  27. There’s got to be a reason, anthropologically speaking, that my kids’ whines sound like a nail being hammered directly into my eardrum, right? Survival?
  28. What would coffee and wine taste like together? Has anyone tried it?!
  29. I don’t know how many times I’ve told you little creeps not to open this chest.
  30. Today, right now, is all that matters, isn’t it? Life throws you curve balls. Cherish moment by moment.
  31. Can I just get through ONE newspaper article?! ONE?!?! I feel like I’m JUST finding out about Brexit.
  32. Gross, how many times have I reheated this cup of coffee?!
  33. This kid is actually trying to kill himself.
  34. I remember when I would have been embarrassed to go to a movie theater by myself… that would be AMAZING!!
  35. Three more hours to go. Why do I even say that?! It’s not like I stop doing everything when there’s another adult here (insert eye roll).
  36. How funny would that be if someone did a parody to LL Cool J’s “Mama said knock you out”, but instead it says “Mama said lock you out” and it be about a wife whose husband is running late from work?
  37. Look at them with their Daddy. Ugh, let’s have like 10 more kids.
  38. He took the last bottled water?! I want a new husband.
  39. Should I take a bath? Oh wait, the towels are in the washer. If I put them in the dryer, I’d have to fold the kids’ clothes in the dryer. Screw the bath.
  40. I’ve had like 10 seconds to myself and I miss my kids. WTF?!
  41. I need another husband. Not one to replace mine, just another so that they’ll compete to do the dishes and win my heart. Dreams 🙂
  42. He looks just like his Dad. So incredibly blessed.
  43. What if one day she hates herself? There’s so much I need to be doing now to minimize that possibility as much as I possibly can.
  44. Did I get any work done today? Don’t I run a business? Don’t answer that.
  45. This song. My loves. My family. These three are my biggest priorities.
  46. Please go back to bed now.
  47. GET BACK TO YOUR BED!
  48. I’m freaking exhausted right now.
  49. He only poured himself a glass of wine?! Come on dude.
  50. Oh, it’s actually for me. Soul mates 😉

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4 Comments

  1. Amber
    January 19, 2017 / 9:04 am

    A hahahahaha! So hilarious!! 100% accurate

    • Kristina Nissen
      January 19, 2017 / 11:24 am

      Phew!! 😉 Thanks for reading!!

  2. Tammy Bernshausen
    January 18, 2017 / 6:02 pm

    Yes we have all had these bizarre thoughts. But thanks for putting it out there. I just love it

    • Kristina Nissen
      January 18, 2017 / 8:30 pm

      Thanks for reading Tammy!! XOXO

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